In Buddhism, marriage is looked upon as a personal, individual concern and not as a religious duty. The Buddhist understanding of marriage considers it to be a nonspiritual affair. While Buddhism doesn't encourage nor discourage marriage, it does suggest some guidelines for it. Buddhists are expected to follow the civil laws regarding marriage that their government has. Many Buddhists choose to have a blessing from monks at a local temple after the marriage ceremony is completed.
Marriage in Buddhism: In Buddhism, marriage is looked upon as a personal, individual concern and not as a religious duty. The Buddhist understanding of marriage considers it to be a nonspiritual affair. While Buddhism doesn’t encourage nor discourage marriage, it does suggest some guidelines for it. Buddhists are expected to follow the civil laws regarding marriage that their government has. Many Buddhists choose to have a blessing from monks at a local temple after the marriage ceremony is completed.
Buddhist marriage laws: The Buddhist congregation is advised to limit themselves to one wife. It is told that Buddha did not have any rules on marriage although it did give advice on how to live happily while being married. In order to live a happy married life, Buddha said that it was wise to be faithful to one wife and not to be sensual and run after other women. Buddha knew that the main reason for separation or the main cause of a male’s downfall was his involvement with other women.
Children and marriage: It is not written anywhere that Buddhists must have children or control the number of children that they want. Buddhism allows every human the freedom and their rights to decide for themselves the issues relating to marriage.
Buddhist Monks and Marriage: Many question why Buddhist monks do not marry, since Buddhism has no laws against marriage. The main reason is obviously that the monks have chosen to service to mankind and devote their full selves not to anyone else. Although Buddhist monks do not celebrate a marriage ceremony for themselves, they do carry out religious services in order to bless the couples.
Divorce: Separation or divorce is not forbidden in Buddhism. A though divorce would barely arise if Buddhists strictly followed Buddha's commands. In Buddhism men and women are allowed the freedom to separate if they cannot deal with each other anymore. Separation is required in order to avoid a miserable family life for a long period of time. Buddha recommends that old men do not have young wives as the old and the young are not likely to be compatible for each other which may cause problems, downfall and conflict. The Buddha says to first love yourself before you love another, as you must learn to accept your own flaws before somebody else can fix them.
“Love yourself as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Process of marriage ceremony:
1. First the couple should light the candles and incense sticks and offers the flowers placing them on and around the table on which stands the image.
2. The bride and groom should then, in turn, recite the traditional undertakings expected of them as found in the Sigilovdda Sutta.
3. The Man then says: “Towards my wife I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management, provide gifts to please her."
4. The women then says: "Towards my husband I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings, discharge my responsibilities lovingly and conscientiously."
5. Finally, the assembly or perhaps the parents only, should recite the Mangala Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha as a blessing.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” – Dali Lama “Every living being has an equal right to and desire for happiness.” – Dali Lama “He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.” – Buddha “Love is a gift of one’s inner most soul to another so both can be whole.” – Buddha